Pigs.

Jesus goddamn Christ, if I have to read one more post about how bad a dude Chris Brown supposedly is, then I am going to hurl my laptop out the window and onto the street, where it will, hopefully, be run over by several cars. And then it will snow, fucking it up even more, rendering it further useless as an Internet-capable device. Just fucking stop.

I’m not defending the guy, I’m saying he beat his woman like, three fucking years ago. Three years ago. Get some new material, all right? Maybe I just don’t have a ticket for the “let’s bully people who were young and fucked up by doing some really stupid shit” bandwagon (regrets are mine) but what is everybody’s deal recently? It’s as if saying, “Yep! Chris Brown is a bastard! I hate him!” will net that person a free grand slam breakfast at Denny’s or something. Agreeing with the standpoint everyone else already has, pretty much universally, agreed upon, whoa, yeah, cool. Real cutting edge, folks.

Here, let me dig up some old newspaper articles from 2001, let me read about how evil and horrendous these “Al Qaeda” people are. Maybe it will have some more relevance to it than a terrible-ass singer being a kind of lousy human being, the woman who (again, quite clearly) profited off her own plight and the legion of Internet users who never have made a mistake or a poor decision in their own lives, entitling them to rain shit down on those who have (ie: everyone else).

Remember all the people who didn’t technically side with the Columbine shooters after the fact, but sort of shrugged and said, “Hmm, well, I guess I can see why they were sorta pissed, yeah”? Same or similar situation with Chris Brown, whom I am guessing will be dead by the age of 25, more than likely from suicide, more than likely than that because of all the assholes who were opponents of bullying back then, and somehow, for some reason, are proponents of it today.

Again, I restate: What does tweeting or blogging or even talking about Brown negatively do but drive him down further? He fucked up. Three years ago. He still seems pretty childish now, but then, he’s also very fucking childish in age. Certainly younger than me. Young people, not to make mistakes or act immature, ever. Sound logic from an uninspired majority. “Curse you, Chris Brown, for not acting your age! Wait. You’re, like, 22 or some shit? Oh. Damn. Well, fuck you still, when I was that age, or younger, I acted like I was, uh, 50! Fifty years old. Yep.”

How about we just, um, I don’t know, stop talking about him altogether?! Dude wants publicity. That’s it. His music bites and he’s pretty vulgar and offensive, so he thrives on people calling him out. He loves it. He lives for it. He’s made a living off it. (Mike Tyson did it originally, in the ’90s. Doubt Brown would have much a career had he not done what he did. Just saying.) So, can we stop talking about him yet? Or do we have to keep doing article after article after article publicizing how bad the guy is, or whatever his latest Twitter beef is? Because I don’t care.

Also, and I’m just going to throw this out there: What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? OK, look, I don’t tolerate spousal abuse, but what the fuck? When, as a society, have we begun to turn the dude who beat his wife into the victim? (I mean, read some of these fucking disgusting stories, and the comments that follow.) When, as a society, have we forgotten how to forgive and forget? Just what does this sorry sack of shit have to do before he’s amended, before he’s no longer “that dude who beat his wife like, three years ago”? And how long is it gonna take? Because I’m really damn sick of hearing about it.

Continuing to blame Chris Brown for what he did way back when is like, oh, I don’t know, continuing to blame Japan for once, decades ago, surprise bombing Hawaii and killing a bunch of people. By Internet person logic, though, the US should still be all bitter and pissed at Japan for doing that. Oh, no, fuck you, Japan, we don’t need your fancy “video games” and your “Hello Kitty,” we’re doing just fine over here, what, with our miniature American flags and slightly larger-in-size American flags. Perfectly fine. But, for real, if people still are bringing this shit up when the guy’s 60 years old (if he makes it that long, you bullies), I might have to kill myself… myself. Because it’s stupid. And you’re stupid. You’re all just a big, boiling pile of stupid.

In summation: Brown’s a clown but his incident happened years ago; Giving attention whores your attention is like giving regular whores your money; Holding grudges is unhealthy and ironically unprogressive, which is funny as it’s the so-called “progressives” calling him out in the media; Seven hundred million other men beat their wives, and more recently than did Brown, but nobody cares about them; And did you know, George Washington kept slaves? Yeah. Rise up over that, you pigs.