On wrestlers wearing their own T-shirts, and why they should stop.

This has to stop.

While the Attitude Era was filled with a number of things we’d rather forget — a handful of racy gimmicks and stories, Jerry Lawler calling Goldust a “faggot” on television, Mae Young “giving birth” to a hand — there are a few gems I wouldn’t mind seeing resurfaced in today’s WWE. One of those things: Street clothes. Just take a look-see at this clip from 1999 and tell me you don’t notice a huge difference. Big Show’s jacket alone deserves kudos, as he’d never be allowed to wear that nowadays. Not without a gigantic “BIG SHOW” logo somewhere on there.

Now, it doesn’t seem like a big deal, and it may only matter to me, but I cannot stand watching wrestlers perform in their WWE-branded T-shirts. Especially coupled with their wrestling gear, as it looks horrendous. Wear some pants already, guys. I absolutely hate it with every fiber of my being, and then some. But why? Let me count the reasons. For one, it is incredibly unrealistic. I know, this is pro-wrestling, where realism often is shoved aside to make way for over-the-top storylines and characters who’d have no place outside the squared circle. But the difference between wrestling, sports entertainment, whathaveyou and other forms of obviously farcical entertainment is that things like TV shows and movies and fiction novels aren’t trying to be anything they aren’t. “The Avengers” movie was a lot of fun to watch, but it never claimed to be real life. Wrestling, despite everyone over the age of 8 knowing it’s fake, does try to portray itself as “real,” however, and sometimes it just doesn’t work.

Therefore, seeing someone like Randy Orton or, the best example, John Cena, walk out to the ring every Monday wearing the exact same outfit, yeah, that’s not realistic at all. For one, it implies wrestlers have no fashion sense. Maybe CM Punk will wear a T-shirt everyday, because that’s who he is as a person, but do you honestly want me to believe that a well-groomed dude like Cody Rhodes doesn’t prefer wearing a button down and a pair of slacks?

“But if you think that Vince McMahon is really gonna fire you, I’d like to take you back a couple months ago when you were fired and that lasted all of about seven days.”

In retrospect, Punk coming back to WWE so quickly was planned all along; hell, the guy even forecasted it in this promo. Now, to find all those articles damning Vince and co. for bringing Punk back “too soon.”

TAKA Michinoku vs. Triple H, WWF Championship

“Backlash is live in three weeks, April 30th, from the sold out MCI Center in Washington, D.C.”

-Jerry Lawler, reminding us all how popular wrestling was in the Attitude Era, with non-Madison Square Garden live events selling out weeks and even months in advance.

I’m not one to do those “If you don’t like [X], we can’t be friends” types of posts, but if you don’t like The Undertaker, then, well, um, yeah, we can’t be friends.

Enemies, maybe, if that’s cool with you.

But never friends.

June 27, 2011: Drew McIntyre confronts Booker T and DDP

Smarkdom, uuugh.

It’s been a day or two, but I’m still laughing at the smarks who passive-aggressively made fun of those who believed Cena’s injury was real. I’m sure these same people thought Austin’s neck snapping in ‘97 was a work, and that the Owen Hart incident two years later was pre-planned. “If it’s on WWE TV, then it’s a work!” Really?

Let’s remember that time Cena legit tore his pectoral muscle in the ring in 2006. And two years later when he nearly broke his neck and required tons of rehab. Both those incidents, since they occurred on WWE programming, were completely farce. lol marks!!!

What bugs me about this is how fucking annoying these “fans” can be. To me, they’re not fans; they’re know-it-alls. They think they know what’s real and what isn’t, and they truly believe they know better than everybody else. Now they’re mocking the people who believed Cena was injured at Extreme Rules Sunday.

“loool its a work guys jeeeeeez dont u know anything bout wrestling its all a work guys. cena showd up on raw i told u all he was ok. ur all so stupid!”

Like, fuck off with that shit, will ya? How does anybody who acts like this even enjoy a wrestling show? If you’re watching just to pick holes in things and make fun of those who buy into what they’re watching, that’s not being a fan, that’s being a dickhead. That’d be like going to a movie and elbowing the person next to you, saying, “Hey, uh, you know the bad guy’s gonna die in the end, right?” And, when he does die, that person would stand up in self-affirmation, screaming out, “TOLD YA SO, YA LOSERS!” That, essentially, is what being a smark is all about.

If you’re not enjoying something, why continue doing it? To me, trying to be smarter than the business (and the “marks” who are there to have fun, not be little piss ants who hate everything and enjoy nothing) is pointless. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Be humble about it. Don’t make fun of those below you because nobody, technically, is “below” anybody.

I swear, the next person I see making fun of a little kid for rooting for John Cena is getting the damndest saito suplex the world ever has seen. Or not, but it’d be nice to go to a show where the fans were smart but not ignorant. Congrats, you know wrestling is fixed. Congrats, you find the heels more engaging than the faces. Congrats, you know what is scripted and what is real. Congrats, you are a huge dick face who secretly wishes you were that little 6-year-old cheering your head off for Cena — something I doubt you ever had the pleasure of experiencing yourself as a child.

Blah. It’s just so frustrating. It’s so easy to be a smart fan, but so many go down the dark path and open their yaps when someone expresses an opinion different than their own. I know, I’ve done it, and it was stupid of me. Foolish. And that’s exactly why I’m sick of this crap. I mean, it’s possible to like the bad guys and know the difference between shoot and work and, you know, not be a colossal assbag about it. But, again, it’s the difficulty of it that turns so many away. That, to me, is the saddest thing.

As of today, CM Punk’s title reign is the longest since Triple H’s penultimate reign began… four years, two days ago.

Given this era of wrestling, 161 days seems more impressive than it should.

threecount:

Found on Reddit.

Awesome, but I’d think The Penguin would be a better fit for Paul E. Unless they’re saving that for Howard Finkel.

(via idontlikewrestling)